Fall Character Improvements Anyone??

Hey Soul Mommas,

It has truly been an eventful summer.

I took a summer break from writing for some time to prepare for major exams and I am very happy to report that I did pass the exams necessary for me to become a full time teacher here in the state of Texas! I was able to jump many career hurdles that had been hanging over my heads for the last few years!

Along with studying for exams I have done some road trips around Texas and attended quite a few concerts. I completed four full weeks of not eating meat and three of those four not consuming dairy. That was a huge accomplishment for me. Even with all the happiness and freedom I found myself in this summer and even now, has opened up my eyes to many things about self. I have a handful of goals that I still hadn’t accomplished and many things about my very own character that I wanted to practice making a difference in.

This year I will be coming upon my twenty seventh birth anniversary and I want to be in a mind set to where I trust my instinct more than that of others. Ideally I’d like to be even more professional in my tone and I want to be productive in all of my day to day activities.  I want to find the time to focus on a lifestyle of health.

Not meeting my weight loss goals was probably the worse for me as it seemed to me that I took great steps to get on the right path. Moving forward, I think discipline is going to be one of the character improvements I focus on the most of all.

How exactly do we make character improvements? Image result for character definition

I have a plan that I will be putting into action this week. Taking insecurities and questioning myself and churning them into a life of prosperity and greatness.

  1. I am going to be revisiting “The Purpose Driven Life”. If there are any other inspirational and timeless books like this one, please drop the titles in the comments below. Sometimes it’s important as mothers and just being a lady to self motivate and remind yourself what it is you are here to do! This won’t be my only read but it is going to be the one I focus on to help deal with the frustrations of not getting it all done. I think reading just puts a lot of things into perspective as opposed to listening to someone lecture you. Reading allows you to stop where you are and think about how what you just read applies to YOU!
  2. Practice Practice…To master something it must be learned and practiced. Professionalism for me is a self-esteem issue but not in a serious way. You see I always have this thought that you can present yourself as professional as you think you are. The problem with professionalism is that the shit is just so subjective. It’s an individuality thing and an idea. Yes you can have on the blandest black suit and white button down but someone else may perceive you less than professional because you’re in that bland ass suit with lemonade braids. I’ve learned professionalism, hell I am in a professional business fraternity. What it is I’ll be practicing is being MY BEST professional without all of the insecurities of feeling like I’m not professional enough. I guess it’s the confidence aspect of professionalism. It’s natural for some. Kudos to ya’ll! For the rest of us young adults it’s going to take some extra practice to know even outside of your thoughts you are 100% qualified if you chose to wear that polka dot blouse.
  3. Day to day productivity leads to success.. I’m a true believer in how you spend your days and nights reflects how closer you are to the things that matter most to you. Setting a goal everyday use to be routine and now I’ll be doing that but a little differently. I recently invested in this nice sized white dry erase board where daily I’ll be writing my goal or goals for that day and even for the week. At first I was thinking what if I don’t crush these goals I’m just going to be over depressing my self?? Think about it though. What if you were running a race and there is no real finish line for you to cross? What if you’re planning a party with no date for the party?  Putting a finish line on my day is just going to show myself I finished strong. Your goal can be as small as ” I won’t use any curse words” Set it! Kill it!
  4. You know how I feel about journaling. Journal your interactions and critique yourself. About once a week really focus on your wording during conversation, the way you manage your time and what you ate. Sometimes if you want to improve you have to put yourself under your own microscope just to really dissect what you can add and eliminate to be better!
  5. Discipline and oh how it goes so closely with sacrifice. To better discipline myself especially when it comes to my food choices, I’m going to pack lunch plus 5$ for emergencies and leave my debit card at home! I bet that seems a little extreme but this is great to put into practice when you simply can’t make good choices for lunch. Also this will help with saving. In addition to leaving the cards at home, I have to push myself to get an adequate amount of physical activity in my day. I bought a bike and some workout equipment to get in a good groove. That alone, the fact that I paid some good money for those things is going to get me moving frequently.

 

Of course there is so much more to improve on in our daily lives. We’ve just begun to live so were going to wise up year by year and even day by day. Mental growth and even physical growth is inevitable. You go through so many different life situations. Any growth is great, even if the circumstances aren’t so hot. Along with what I’ve mentioned above, I think it’s going to be life changing for me personally, to start blocking out the opinions of others and learning that when I make executive decisions that directly effect me I have to whole heartedly trust ME! Just because an opinion or someone else’s advice “sounds” like they have your best interest doesn’t mean you are wrong for the decisions you already made. What works for others may not work for you. My pastor used to say “get all you can but dont can all you get”. It sticks with me in that it’s okay to welcome this or that but use your discernment on those things you shouldn’t pay attention to.

Don’t let anyone control you, your thoughts or actions.

I’m interested in hearing from my soul folks, what are you going to be doing for character building and bringing forth a more dedicated you? How do you cope with not completing all of your goals? What’s something unique in your routine that keeps you going and grounded?

Drop some ideas in the comments!  I love hearing from yall! Thank you for reading and remember to like share and subscribe!

Look forward to more posts on instagram soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pray for Houston Texas

Good Evening Brothers and Sisters,

I am so sad to report that Houston, Texas is in a state of emergency. Hurricane Harvey has devastated the entire city and so many Houstonians including my very friends and family are trapped in flooded places with limited resources.

I am asking that you please say a sincere prayer for the city.

Thank you all in advance for your prayers..

 

Happy Mother’s Day to the SOUL MOMMAS!

Happy Mother’s Day Soul Mommas,

I am writing a few of my personal thoughts and reflections as a young mother (26) and how I manage to remain positive and free-spirited. I’m all over the place here but just stick with me! This is pretty personal for me to share so only positivity is accepted in this space.

If you have been following Soul Mommas for a while, you know I am a mother of two beautiful little girls who are now 1 and 2 years old. I have experienced the best of 2 under 2! I have not mastered motherhood and I don’t think I ever will. When I think I’ve mastered one thing, they age out of whatever it is I think I have mastered within a few weeks!! It is one of those go with the flow things in my opinion.

pregnancy photo.png

Motherhood Thus Far..

One of the most beautiful privileges of being a woman is carrying life. I don’t think I’ve experienced a better feeling in life than being pregnant, giving birth and watching a child that I helped create make boogers, snore, and cry! Motherhood comes with its challenges from time to time but never has this experience been a “hard” experience. The good times I have had as a mother surpassed all the great times when I wasn’t a mother. Although both pregnancies were unplanned, each child helped catapult my life in a major way.  I think had I still been childless I would still be working in a grocery store and not using the Bachelor’s degree that I had already earned years ago.  Everything has seemed to fall into place one by one as a result of me having my daughters at what I call the perfect time in my life.

The Darkest Hour

I am single, never married and I have two girls back to back! So of course I get hit with all kinds of judgment and questions. I would find myself getting defensive quite often. At one point it seemed like people I knew was disappointed in my decision to bring life into this world as if I needed permission to do so. Not only was I already dealing with postpartum depression, but I had the weight of the people I thought loved me judgments on my back. There were a few that I felt were understanding but for the most part I just felt alone. It was too much to handle to the point where I was feeling like giving up. What I mean is sending my children to be adopted, moving away, and starting over. I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone because everyone had made up in their minds that “I had fucked up pretty bad.”

Truth be told I was so excited to be a mother but I LET outside negative influences lead me to believe that I shouldn’t be. What’s really messed up is I almost let those negative people make life decisions for me that only I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I have A baby father who intentionally did everything in his power to be the biggest jackass he could be. Even when I was at the very edge of wanting to give up, he would insult me and put me down just for his own enjoyment. When I look back on how weak I was emotionally and didn’t have much of the support I needed, I don’t know how I made it through. It was such a dark time in my young life. I knew before I had children I wanted to be married and not raise my children alone. I was, in a way, disappointed in myself that life didn’t go exactly the way I planned things to go. I then started to realize that life goes on and I can either choose to accept that negative energy or move forward and show my daughters the best life of love, education, adventure and comfort! I feel like it is my duty to give them excellence!

Overcoming It All

I created Soul Mommas because I knew there were other women facing the same situation. I started to focus directly on my career and balancing every aspect in my life. Part of getting to the point I am now required me to sit aside time everyday to pray and meditate on what God’s will and purpose is for my life.  I created a vision board and I also do weekly goals to make sure I’m progressing and not just sitting still and remaining comfortable. Journaling is one of the big reasons I don’t have to hold in so much and I use yoga as a way to relieve some of my life stresses. Unfortunately the baby daddy who is active, kind of, is still a jackass but I get to choose how I want to respond to it because of the fact that I am more mentally stable than I once was.  I’ve learned to find things I really love and stick to that to make sure I maintain my happiness. I go to concerts frequently, I eat a whole lot better, I link up with my friends a few times a month and I workout as much as my schedule allows. With my children, we often take road trips, we do experiments, have game nights and story time. I like hands on things and travel as educational practices so that’s mainly what we do as a family. I mainly surround myself with positive people and I do things that I think will further enhance my own positivity.

I love my MOMMA SOOOO MUCH

As far as my own mother, we have our ups and downs all the time but she has been right by my side this entire roller coaster. I could never repay her for all the assistance, love and support she shows to my daughters and myself. I have been missing from blogging lately but that’s because I am working on something very special that I hope I can share my testimony about soon! I wouldn’t be able to make this happen without my mother.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

No matter what your situation may be just know that it isn’t permanent but you have to take the necessary steps to create the best life for you and your child. To be a mother is a GIFT and you shouldn’t see it as anything else but the biggest BLESSING EVER! Happy Mother’s Day to you and I pray that everyone reading this right now find the peace, love and will power to keep pushing on! Remember that this is supposed to be rewarding to you not “hard.” Never let society tell you nurturing a child is “difficult.” You choose your way of parenting and all other opinions shouldn’t and don’t matter. Remained encouraged and always seek good things that make you happy! Stay active and give your children evrything you have even when others look down on you to tell you it isn’t enough.

I love you all and enjoy your day celebrating the wonderful title of “MOTHER!”

 

 

 

 

 

DIY SUPER DEEP CONDITIONER FOR NATURAL HAIR! PLUS My Spring 17 Season Hair Regimen!

Hey Soul Mommas,

I have a super easy do it yourself deep conditioner I would like for you to try! I’m going to also share my Spring 17 season natural hair regimen that has my hair super soft all the time!

Ingredients for the DIY Super Deep Conditioner For Natural Hair can be found in most grocery stores!

Here is what you’ll need:Image result for diy deep conditioner for natural hair

2 tbsp. Honey   2 tbsp. Vegetable glycerin   1 avocado (overripe)  4 tbsp. coconut oil

1 16 oz bottle of apple cider vinegar

Depending on the length and density of your hair you made need 1-2 additional tablespoons of each ingredient, however one avocado should do the trick!

Now I bet you are wondering why these ingredients?

Well honey and glycerin are humectants which means these two ingredients reduces the loss of moisture in the hair strands. Coconut oil seals in moisture and avocado is a fatty acid that makes this diy conditioner lubricating and heavy making for easy detangling.

Here’s how you mix your ingredients:

In a microwave safe bowl, add your coconut oil and honey. Heat the ingredients in the microwave for 6-10 seconds. You need just enough heat to get your oil into liquid form. After heating your oil and honey, add the glycerin and your avocado. Mix your ingredients until you get a creamy consistency.

Instructions to use:

On freshly washed and t-shirt blotted hair, section your hair and evenly coat your hair with the mixture. Once your hair is completely covered, place a conditioner cap and allow the mixture to penetrate your hair strands. About 30-45 minutes should be enough time before rinsing. Detangle then rinse your hair completely with warm water. After rinsing the conditioner completely, use the apple cider vinegar to rinse your hair. Follow the apple cider rinse with a cool water rinse to close the hair cuticles. T-shirt blot your hair dry and begin on your desired style.Image result for apple cider vinegar

Note: The apple cider vinegar rinse at the end relieves and is soothing to an itchy and irritated scalp.

Ok Now for my current Spring regimen!

I know Spring hasn’t officially kicked off but here in Houston, Texas the weather is so bipolar we don’t really know what weather we may encounter! Houston is dealing with something different on a day to day basis so I have updated my wash routine to try to fit with this “every season in one week” weather!

Right now the products I am using are:

  • My do it yourself deep conditioner
  • Alikay Naturals Lemongrass Leave In
  • Carol’s Daughter Moisturizing Milk
  • Eco Styler Argon Oil Gel
  • Coconut oil
  • Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Strengthen Grow and Restore Shampoo
  • Shea Moisture Fruit Fusion Coconut Water Weightless Crème Rinse
  • Apple Cider Vinegar

I know it seems like I’m using a lot of products here but that’s because I have a lot going on right now! I’m not going to blame it on the weather conditions! Lately my hair has been very soft and my scalp feels smooth as well so I’m just doing the best I can to keep it that way. I have a little more water intake, apple cider rinses and I am using a little bit more moisturizer than I usually do.

Now my hair schedule is looking a little like this:

meinwig1

The wig!

 

Nearly every 3 days I’m having a co wash with the crème rinse. I apply my leave in conditioner, moisturizer and oil. I do a full wash and deep conditioner every 10 days followed by leave in moisturizer and oil. Lately I have been using the gel to bring out my curls and it makes my hair really soft and manageable. I’ve been styling my natural hair and also wearing wigs because that protection is necessary right now!

meinno2

I took the wig with me on a road trip to N.O. so I wouldn’t have to style my natural hair!

 

meinno

Caught some beads.

I’m interested in reading your hair regimen! Does your regimen change with the seasons? Let me know how you are holding up and what products you are using! I hope you try this deep conditioner, let me know what kind of results you get. Like comment subscribe and share. Thank you so much for reading and following!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve Been Neglecting My Breasts

Hey Soul Mommas,

I really have been neglecting my breasts these past years.YEARS I SAID!

As a women I find it pretty challenging to take care of my entire self. Look at all that comes with being feminine.

Shaving or styling hair, keeping nails clean, making sure your lady parts are always pH balanced, keeping your skin moisturized, eating healthy, drinking enough water, maintaining an active lifestyle, keeping eyebrows in check, teeth and mouth cleansing, ears, nose, armpits and a cycle every month!  EVERYTHING! IT’S ALOT!

With all that, I find myself not paying much attention to my breasts. I’ve been not taking the time out to massage my own breasts and not self examining them like I should be doing.

This post is about breast cancer awareness and what we should be doing as young women to make sure we are aware of when our bodies are speaking to us. Along with all the other things mentioned above it’s extremely important to check our breasts and make sure everything feels normal to us.

Although it isn’t October and no cancer isn’t 100% preventable, I feel the need to share with my peers that when it comes to self care that also means making sure all parts of us are healthy! Don’t be like me and neglect your breasts.

As young women, at least twice a month we should be visually inspecting our breast. About once a month it’s necessary to perform self exams either in the shower or lying down. Using the pads of your finger, gently move your finger from the outside to the center of your breasts checking for knots, lumps or unusual thickening in your breasts. Check both breasts each time you do your own exams. You want to make sure you check your armpits as well. Lightly squeeze nipples to check for discharge and remember to make mental notes of the appearance of your breast from month to month.

Image result for black womens breast

Of course self examinations alone may not be enough. It is so important to start getting screened because mammograms can detect tumors that may not be felt during a self exam. If you do find that there may be a lump, it is best to call your physician to schedule an appointment as soon as you can. Not to panic though because not all lumps are cancerous.

With self examinations and paying attention to our bodies we can be aware of the changes, notify our doctor and that way if we are affected, early detection sky rockets the chances for beating breast cancer.

We all know that there are risk factors when it comes to breast cancer. Some factors like genetics we have no control over but other factors like smoking we do. It’s important that we try to live the best lifestyle we can regardless of our circumstances.

Another thing is that many women who have had breast cancer become survivors and lead wonderful lives! I look up to the women I have met in my life who has overcome breast cancer. Many of them eat well and take the best care of  which inspire myself and other to do the same. There is a reason they are survivors!

Yes I have been neglecting my breasts worrying about all the other parts of me but that will not continue. I hope that this posts will wake up others and think about their breasts a little more often. Many of us who are in our 20’s are not exempt from things like breast cancer. Listen to your body, give it the care and attention it needs so that you can live a healthy, purposeful life. I will be self examining my breast tonight. I hope you do too! Boobies serve more purpose than we think. Women are designed beautifully so we must beautifully take care of us! Like comment subscribe and share!

 

Product Review!!! ALIKAY NATURALS LEMONGRASS LEAVE IN CONDITIONER!

Hey Soul Mommas,

I have a super delicious product review for you mommas!

If you follow me on my IG account @soulmommasblog you saw I posted the picture o f the product that I would be reviewing next!

Alikay Naturals Lemongrass Leave-In Conditioner

After using this product once, I knew I had to have this as a staple for every season! After seeing the instagram page for Alikay Naturals, I had become interested in their products! I was aiming towards the deep conditioner but I thought since I had several deep conditioners, I’ll try a leave-in instead. I went into Target and there it was. I picked up the second leave in conditioner on the shelf and headed to check out!

alikay

The labeling fits so wonderfully with the product! Bright and airy! I have the 8oz bottle and on the label it says “featured ingredients.” Silk amino protein, aloe vera and lemon grass oil are all listed and I couldn’t wait to smooth that goodness unto my hair!

After washing, I sprayed this leave in, very heavily might I add, right into my damp hair and used the praying hands method to evenly coat the product through. The first thing I noticed is my hair was extremely soft and moisturized and I had not added any moisturizer or oil yet. After I had applied the leave in all the way through, my curls were poppin! The scent is so fragrant and delicious! Good thing they put a disclaimer that this product is not food! It’s like a lemon zesty cake batter! It’s one of those scents you could never get tired of! It’s so fresh I’m spraying this on every day these days!

This product says that it is the perfect moisture solution for all hair types and it works by penetrating deep into the hair cortex to lock in moisture, soften and strengthen. Well Soul sistas, it does just that which is why I am giving Alikay Naturals Lemongrass Leave In Conditioner 10 afros on the soul scale.

This product was budget friendly around the 12$ range and it is worth every penny! This leave in makes my hair manageable and easy to style. It does not leave a waxing feeling and it is long lasting. By that I mean my hair is soft and smells wonderful all day! Using this on my daughters has made detangling a minute process. It used to take way longer! This product does everything that it mentions on the label and more. This will definitely be my go to product right after washing and I’m looking forward to trying the other products on the Alikay Naturals line!

I highly recommend Alikay Naturals to the sistas who are looking to try something new and refreshing! Any questions or comments regarding this amazing leave-in conditioner, please feel free to comment! Also go check out the website at http://www.alikaynaturals.com and try this out yourself! This is my honest review and I purchased the product with my own money! When I find greatness, it’s my duty to share it with my Soul folks!

 

 

HAZMAT: HAIR RELAXERS!

Hey Soul Mommas,

Question number one: Would you purposely smear acid unto your skin?

Question number two: Would you intentionally set your scalp on fire?

Question number three: Have you ever thought about maybe creating some open wounds in your scalp?

If you have answered “hell naw” to the above questions, please explain to me why would you put a relaxer on your hair???

I don’t judge, I do not. What I won’t do is sit back and not educate my young Black brothas and sistas on the dangers that are directed towards our community!

Since it’s Black History Month, let’s first discuss the history behind the relaxers.

THE BEGINNING

Invented in 1909 by Garrett Augustus Morgan, the relaxer was created by pure coincidence.Image result for garrett morgan (I don’t believe in coincidence). Just a little bit about Morgan, He was born in 1877 and is an African American inventor, publisher and clothing manufacturer. Morgan wasn’t exactly trying to find a way to straighten the tight curls of the African women, in fact, he was looking for a chemical agent to sterilize his sewing needles. The firsts relaxers created by Morgan were made of alkaline chemicals and soap. Not so bad eh? After finding that this mixture straightened fabrics, Morgan began testing this product on the fur of dogs! Abracadabra the fur was straightening and thus the “relaxer” was born. This guy was absolutely brilliant! Morgan is also the inventor of  the traffic light, gas masks and cigarettes that extinguish themselves. Morgan also invented the curved-tooth comb (known today as the hot comb)  and black hair dye! He knew a thing or two about Black Hair!

THE TRUTH: HAZARDOUS MATERIAL

Now no doubt this brotha was a genius but relaxers weren’t ever any good! Relaxers work by chemically breaking down the protein bonds in the hair shaft causing the curl or coil to permanently straighten. That is literal heat damage my sistas and brothas.

One of the chemicals found in relaxers is lye. And although there are no-lye relaxers, all relaxers contain some sort of toxic chemicals. Lye relaxers in particular contain sodium hydroxide while no lye relaxers contain guanidine hydroxide which is just as bad. Depending on the strength you choose, the ph of the relaxers are between 10-14 causing the chemicals to  either  work slower or faster and stronger. Image result for hazardous materials

THE EFFECTS

I am in no way writing this to persuade anyone to discontinue the use of relaxers but I do wish to inform. Relaxers are doing a hell of a lot more harm than good. The list below shows effects of the chemical when using to straighten hair. Remember these chemicals are able to seep into the scalp and unto the brain of those using the product. It burns its way through nearly any substance.

  • Chemical burns on scalp
  • Destroys hair follicles causing balding
  • Excessive toxic build up within the body causing fibroids, early puberty, cancers, altered immune systems and a whole host of other health complications
  • Eye irritation
  • Hair breakage
  • Hair thinning
  • Lack of Growth

And to think they put these pretty little children on the boxes to market this madness!

Image result for hair relaxers

 

MY OWN EXPERIENCE

Around the 90s is when I personally begin using relaxer at the age of six. I don’t believe my mother had any knowledge of the contents of relaxers. I wasn’t aware until my college years and that is when I knew it had to go. When I look back, from the time I was six years old until about age twenty one, I was regularly putting these toxic chemicals on my scalp every four weeks. After having beautiful, long, curly hair at a very young age, I never understood why my hair wouldn’t grow passed my neck! It stayed at that awkward length my entire grade school years. I really never learned to maintain my hair when I had a relaxer passed wrapping it before bed. No one told me I needed to trim and moisturize my hair daily. I was ignorant (not knowing) af! I’m grateful that I never experienced the long term effects but I did get chemical burns often. It was almost expected for it to happen every time I got my relaxers put on. I remember one particular time my scalp was so burned a few days later I was unraveling my wrapped hair to find my scalp peeling and bleeding. Not only that but the peeling parts of my scalp had large patches of hair in it. I knew then it was time for a change but I had absolutely no idea what to do.

My college years is when I had awaken. I started getting sew ins regularly and gradually stopped getting relaxers. I noticed a change in my length then. I later big chopped and was so happy to have made the decision. Today I couldn’t imagine intentionally exposing myself or my hair to relaxers. I can’t believe they are still available for purchase! Having straight hair is not worth those effects. I now grow thick, long, healthy hair.

FINAL THOUGHTS

To my mommas who are choosing the relaxer option for hair straightening, this decision should be well thought out. Understand that self love means taking the best care of YOU as you possibly can! If you choose this, make a commitment to self that you will continue your journey to healthy hair care and conditioning treatments prior and post relaxer. Think about all the reasons you can’t or won’t go back to your natural hair texture.

Know that with things like make up, nail polish, hair products, skin products, birth control and feminine hygiene products, corporations will take advantage of women trying to uphold man made beauty  and society standards. Ask yourself what is beauty? Are you being mislead? Why are only certain things shown on television? This is not an accident mommas! These products target women and are no good to the body. Do the best you can as a woman to try to stray away from as much unnatural product as you can. Relaxed or natural, do all things in your life for the sake of you! Ask yourself: Would I do this if I were walking this Earth on my own??? Please share this post, like, comment and subscribe. Peace!