SOUL PRODUCT REVIEW!!! EDEN Body Works Coconut Shea Natural Hair Masque!

Hey Mommas,

This deep conditioner right here is bomb! BOMB! BOMB!

eden

OK!! Once a week I deep condition my hair and have the rest of my wash day following. For the past three weeks I have been using Eden Body Works Coconut Shea Natural Hair Masque and I’m getting ready to tell you why this will now be my go to deep conditioner!

I purchased this product at HEB Grocery for $2.50! Yes that’s right, a budget lovely item right here! The pack contains 1.75 fl oz and the package mentions that this product is Paraben and Sulfate free. The first time I saw it I knew I had to give it a shot and I was not disappointed!

Before I give you all of my thoughts on Eden’s Hair Masque I want to tell you a little bit about my hair and my wash day routine as of this season.

I have struggled with heat damage for quite some time right in the front (leave out area) and I have dry coarse hair if I miss just one day of moisturizing.

Here’s how I use this product

  1. I section my hair into six sections and wash using warm water, each section with a non sulfate shampoo.
  2. After washing I then pat dry my hair with a clean t-shirt and I apply this conditioner very heavily to each section using the praying hands method.
  3. While I’m applying, I finger detangle the sections and make sure this conditioner is evenly applied throughout then I cover with a plastic cap.
  4. Now although the package says to leave in for 15 minutes, I am usually wearing it for hours. I am doing household chores, attending to my children or catching up on shows. I’ll say it stays in about four hours.
  5. Next, I rinse my hair using cool water and then I apply my leave in, moisturizer and finally I style and allow my hair to air dry.

Here’s why this particular conditioner is so satisfying. When I apply this conditioner my curl pattern where my heat damage is looks to be returning and I notice my hair becoming stronger and thicker there as well.

 

This product rinses well and does not leave behind that silicone coated feeling on my strands. This does not have that artificial coconut smell, this smells amazingly like a real coconut!  This is a very smooth, rich conditioner on your finger tips and after using this conditioner, your hair feels just as rich!

This conditioner claims to penetrate the hair shafts to transform dry, brittle hair through an intensely moisturizing botanical blend of coconut oil and Shea butter to deliver softer, stronger hair. I’m giving this product a 9.7 on the SOUL SCALE because it does EXACTLY what it claims to do!

myfro

That’s my fro after my deep condition…what heat damage????? WHERE??

I recommend Eden Body Works Natural Hair Masque for my natural hair mommas! Price, scent, ingredients, hair after use and the fact that it does what it says it will do makes this product exceptional.

Mommas if you’ve experienced Eden please feel free to comment! Subscribe and get more product reviews in the future! LIKE! SHARE! Peace.

*This product was purchased with my own money and this is my honest review!*

For more products by Eden Body Works check out their website edenbodyworks.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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One Black Father’s Perspective on Fatherhood

Hey Mommas and Daddies,

I am bringing you a real treat! I have interviewed Devon Hackle on the challenges and rewards of young fatherhood and how we can combat single parent issues within our community. I am excited to be able to bring this because a male’s perspective on these types of subjects is so refreshing!

Just a little bit about Devon

Devon Hackle,  who is native of Missouri City, Texas, is a dedicated father and knows firsthand what it takes to go above and beyond in the name of fatherhood. Devon attended school at University of Texas San Antonio and has begun his career in real estate (Saratoga Homes) as a sales counselor here in Houston. After building his experience and consumer base, Devon went on to become an independent realtor. Devon is very aware of the many issues that face the Black community and has some suggestions on how we as a people can overcome these obstacles.

devon2

 

*This interview was conducted on January 26, 2017 at 6:30pm*

So this interview came about because of a comment on one of my posts regarding the different types of baby daddies titled “Absent, Court Ordered and Social Media Baby Daddies”.

devon-3

Devon’s Comment

Needless to say I agree with the comment and was interested in hearing more of a male’s perspective on the topic of fatherhood in the Black community. So let’s jump right in shall we?

 

SM: My first question to you is why do you think there is such a huge percentage of fathers who choose not to whole heartedly provide for their children?

Devon: I’m no expert at this I would say that some fathers aren’t particularly ready at that point of finding out they are going to be a father. Not saying the child is an accident but they may not be mentally and emotionally prepared. When Kyndall was born I was 25 and I hadn’t started my career so I wasn’t financially or mentally ready to be a father. I didn’t know what to expect or what was it to come. I took the necessary steps to get a career in real estate to better provide for my family so that I could be the best father for my child.

SM: Sounds good. Seems like you took the initiative to get prepared and that’s rare especially in our generation. In your opinion, what do you think being a great father entails?

Devon: I don’t think there is an exceptional father. A father is still a human and humans aren’t perfect. Most men mess up and mess up pretty badly. I guess that’s the provisions and the form of emotional support. Letting the child express themselves, teaching the child the do’s and don’t’s of life. Being there in the elementary stages is most important.

SM: I agree. I also think being an exceptional father mean you are a listener and you give the child a chance to make mistakes. Not always looking at disciplining the child but teaching the child you know what I mean?

Devon: Well you know it also depends on if the child is a boy or a girl too. That requires the father to respond to things a little differently.

SM: I agree with that as well.

Devon: Like knowing the child and what they may or may not do is so important. I think communicating is the biggest thing that makes an exceptional father.

SM: Most definitely communication is EVERYTHING! (laughs) What’s the most enjoyable thing about fatherhood for you?

Devon: The most enjoyable thing about fatherhood for me is knowing that they’ll turn 18 and eventually be out my house! (laugh) Just kidding! I think seeing them grow up is pretty cool. Each year they learn something new about themselves. Features, thought process change day to day. They are children with a large imagination and you watch them get older knowing that the imagination aspect is becoming nonexistent with each passing year.

devonfamily

Devon’s Family

SM: That’s interesting you mentioned imagination. Sometimes as adults we  forget that word exists we neglect our own imagination. Alright moving on, do you think it is possible to provide a family style environment for children whose parents aren’t a couple romantically?

Devon: Yes it’s possible. It just depends on the two parties. If you are not with each other but you put up with each other for the sake of the child that’s not cool. If the two parties are trying to see if they can get back in the mix with each other than that’s kind of tricky. You don’t want to confuse the child or children. If the two parties aren’t together and one party gets a significant other that can cause some issues too because one party isn’t going to be ok with that.

SM: That’s so true because ideally an active father doesn’t really want to feel like someone else is being their child’s father. Men are territorial creatures so I get that! What do you think is the major factor that keep parents from positive and effective co-parenting?

Devon: Miscommunication.  Communication is key no matter whether it’s co-parenting or family setting. I get In trouble a lot for my tone of voice. To me when I say it this is what I mean. Being in a house with all females my tone needs to be ok I guess.(laughs) I think not communicating at all plays a factor. Resentment I think from the man standpoint. What time frame in his life when he had the child? He wasn’t ready to put away what he doing in life. Financially being able to take on the toll of taking care of the child mother and myself.

SM: Im glad you mentioned resentment. I think a lot of women and some men too, feel resentment because they want to be in a relationship with the other parent however the other parent does not want to be with them. I also know for myself I had a sense of resentment toward the father of my child because I felt as though I wasn’t getting the help I needed. I had just had the baby and could barely walk yet I had to get up to change diapers, breastfeed,  bathe and keep the child comfortable  while dad gets to go on like nothing happened! It was stressful emotionally and physically so yea I’ll admit I had some resentment going on there.

Devon: Yall may feel resentment in that aspect but I can give you some personal experiences where I know people who have children and they have a maternity leave for the mother. During those first two months to the man life is till going on and the man is thinking I must provide for my family. I don’t think any man just wants to work to work.Women may feel resentment in a sense that they are alone all day with a child and men may feel resentment as well since they have to go to work and use much of their earnings to maintain the household.

SM: Yea I mean children really change the lives of everybody it’s complicated as fuck you know. Ok so we talked about court ordered fathers who only do the bare minimum. Do you think what the court orders is enough to help raise a child?

Devon: Well that depends on the income of the father. I would say if the father has a job where his 20% covers many of the costs associated with the child then yes. If he doesn’t have an ok job and can barely take care of himself then absolutely not.

SM: I think so too. You mentioned earlier you weren’t able to provide financially as you wanted to but you made a way to make sure you could after the birth of your child. This is something I hope a young father that’s reading will take away from this interview. My next question is what do you think would be a solution to the single motherhood/fatherhood problem within the Black community?

Devon: I think before the child is born or before its even thought about they both need to sit down and have an understanding on this is what it is. You have to be truthful in communication. They have to figure out are we going to do x y and z if a b and c happens. It gives the women to opt out of the situation firsthand. There would be a lot less resentment going on if people are honest early on.

SM: Seems like a good solution to me.. along with the fact that we all need to be protecting ourselves the best we can. You know as far as the communication things goes there are a lot of guys lying to women about their feelings just to have sex?? I’m not 100% blaming men but really they have a way about doing whatever is necessary to get a women into bed then when the baby comes it’s like uh oh! No I don’t want to be with you or that baby bye!

Devon: Truthful communication can prevent many of those things from happening.

SM: Indeed! So I would like to end this on a positive note and here’s my last question…what would be your words to motivate and encourage a new father or a father who hasn’t done so well in the fatherhood department? What are some words of advice you would offer them?

Devon: To new fathers, always communicate and to be there for the mother of your child. Be upfront and truthful! I guess to the guys who are in the situation as of right now, each situation is like a new set of downs ( in football) you have to be better in the next play than you were in the last and get better every time when new things arise.

SM: I like that advice. Thank you so much for letting me interview you tonight. I think you were dropping gems on em! Continue to be an example in this generation.

Devon: No problem.

 

 

I hope you all enjoyed this interview and got some insight on fatherhood! I do think over the years the percentages of single Black parent homes will likely drop! It may be many many years before it happens but I believe it can and will.

I think many more women are waiting to have children with the man they believe are perfect for the job of father and husband. I truly encourage this!

To the young daddies who feel like they can’t provide the way they want to, you can! You know what you need to do to provide for your children so start taking the steps to make it happen. For the mommas, start being a little open minded as to why your child or children’s father is inactive or being the type of father he is? I am not telling you to accept his ways but to try to see things from his perspective. Sometimes we may feel like we got the icky end of the stick but be mindful that your are the solid rock and foundation of your family. No matter who leaves your children’s lives your children see you and know you aren’t going anywhere. To all Black parents whether peacefully co-parenting or in a relationship let’s start showing our children what family is and looks like. We are the example and we are the leaders. Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reasons Why It’s Incredibly Dope to Be Rocking Your Natural Hair!

Hey Mommas,

There’s actually an infinite amount of reasons why being a natural Black woman is so dope! Being a woman period is something to be proud of in itself!

It’s 2017 yall.. has been for about 28 days now! I hope thus far all of your goals and resolutions are still in place! It isn’t too late to get it together mommas! HA! One of my resolutions was to take the best care possible of my hair and restore it back to it’s optimal health. I’m on it and I’m not budging!

Now the reason I mentioned the year is because I am extremely excited about how the natural hair movement has grown and become a massive movement over the years. During my college days, May 28, 2012 to be exact, is when I chose to go on with the big chop and I was extra late to the natural hair party but I made it right? lol! I remember then hearing that it would only be a short lived fad and that everyone who was returning to their natural roots would soon be going right back into the creamy crack. Well I’m here to tell ya that the lie detector test determined THAT WAS A LIE! It has grown to be a lifestyle for so many women across the world. I see consistency in the natural hair community, I see natural women everywhere I go here in Houston.  I just want to dap with them and say “go head on girl!” It’s just so beautiful to me seeing how far it has come!

Black women are becoming educated on the topic of hair in ways that have allowed us to begin growing our hair to longer lengths and healthy thickness! Many women such as myself who struggled with my hair and even dealt with self esteem issues because of it, have grown to love their hair.  I have learned to allow my hair to do what it wants, I’ve learned to accept my texture for what it is and I’ve learned how to style my hair even if I only have about 10 minutes to make it happen! It’s all been a journey. Right before graduating college in May 2013 I felt like giving it all up but I wanted this to be my lifestyle. I wanted to embrace who I was for the rest of my life. I also new that I didn’t want the burn of a chemical in my scalp ever again.  I had also falling in love with all the many things I could do for styling and protective styling. Most of all I had fallen in love with me!

Today I can’t imagine going back to a relaxer! With this journey I have grown, I have become addicted to educating myself daily. I don’t think it’s my bachelor’s degree that makes me an educated Black woman. It’s my will to want to continue feeding my soul and becoming rich with knowledge. I notice for a lot of women who choose to go natural, they choose to further learn their culture along the way. It’s truly a great time to be a young adult when so many women are banding together in the name of culture and natural hair.

Black girl magic is real! We aren’t just styling our hair, we are making an impact on other cultures. People admire our style, attitude, and our image. How could you not be proud?!

leanne

 

BELOW ARE A LIST OF REASONS IT’S INCREDIBLY DOPE TO BE ROCKING YOUR NATURAL HAIR… LETS BEGIN!

  • Being natural has versatility benefits! Straight hair, curls, kinks, puff, you name it! Natural hair has no limits!
  • Seeing someone else with a beautiful crown of natural hair makes you smile so big on the inside.. I may be cheesy for this but this is what excites me! I’m usually the one to strike up a conversation!
  • Buying products is too much fun! When I walk into Target there is always something new to try out.
  • Believe it or not you are a walking inspiration to many woman of all races and all ages! When you are rocking your natural hair and rocking it with confidence, someone is watching and wanting! You are motivating someone to do the same!

 

janelle

Janelle Monae

  • Going back to your roots allows you to truly learn you! In the interview I conducted with Misslovelynay she mentioned that she had received a relaxer at age 5 so she never really had the chance to see what her texture was like. Sadly this is the story for most of us born in the early 90s! It’s truly something special to embrace your actual curl pattern and really get to experience who you are.
  • Shrinkage is cooler than you think it is! Have you ever seen the look on someone’s face when you show them how long your hair actually is??HA!
  • Wearing your natural hair big and beautiful yells out a huge “fuck you” to the so called hair standards! Going against the grain in such a beautiful way!

erykahErykah Badu

  • You aren’t running from the rain anymore honey you are dancing in it!

 

I think it’s one thing to go back to your natural roots but it’s another thing to really appreciate the process of bringing the hair back to it’s true life! I also sometimes think as natural Black women we  really don’t see how much power we have in just the way we look and carry ourselves. We are powerful, our presence embodies power.

 

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India Arie

My wish is that in your journey you are loving yourself even more and gaining knowledge along the way. I know I am not only speaking for myself when I say that this is truly an awakening experience. I would like to hear from you and learn how have going back to your roots changed your lifestyle. Please like subscribe comment and you can even email me! I truly believe this lifestyle has brought about unity amongst Black women and I hope this continues on. Whatever your reason for choosing this journey is, I hope you find the same joy in it as I do. Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WCW! Interview with Blogger and Youtuber Misslovelynay!!

Hey mommas!

HERE IS MY WEDNESDAY TREAT!

I am so excited to bring you this brief but wonderful interview with Misslovelynay <—-Follow her on Instagram and Subscribe to her channel!

This interview was held on January 21, 2017 via Facetime! We had an incredible conversation on natural hair and loving the skin you’re in!

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Above photo is Shanay rocking the Marley twists as a protective style!

Misslovelynay is a natural hair blogger, brand influencer and new Youtuber who is 100% devoted to her hair journey and has been for quite some time. Native of New Orleans, Louisiana, she’s a beautiful black women living in her purpose and enjoying it all. Shanay is a graduate of Lamar University and a member of Alpha Kappa Psi Fraternity Inc. and Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. She is ambitious and has the most lovable personality living free and high off life. She big chopped on Feb 17, 2015 and is rocking her beautiful mane and protective styling.

SM: Welcome Shanay to Soul Mommas how are you feeling this Saturday night?

Shanay: Im doing great just hanging out at home enjoying some time in.

SM: Ok let’s get right into it, what made you decide to go back to your natural roots?

Shanay: I don’t know how to answer this without being long winded. (laughs) I always wanted to go back to my natural roots. I’m trying not to go into to a long story but in 2010 that’s when the natural hair movement really took off. I wanted to be apart of it. I received my first perm when I was 5 so I really wanted to embrace my natural curl pattern because I never got to see it ya know. (laugh a little)

SM: That’s amazing! Im glad you made the right choice! So what are some of your staple products and must have tools?

Shanay: One thing I can’t live without is my coconut oil. It helped me transition, keep my hair moisturized and prevented breaking. Coconut curls line, Miss Jessies curling cream Lottabody edge control, perm rods for my heat damage at the front to keep a curl and my toothbrush for my edges.

Image result for lottabody edge control

 

SM: That’s quite a lot lol! How would you describe the relationship you have with your hair in one word?

Shanay: This is a good question I don’t know Jazz that’s hard. Just one word? Love?!

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SM: (laughs ) It definitely shows! Do you think water and your diet affects your hair growth?

Shanay: Most definitely drinking water makes your hair hydrated like I said in my youtube video

SM: Hmm yea vitamins?

ShanayL: Yes also in my video I referenced my hair skin and nails vitamin by Nature Bounty they are the bomb.com (laughs)

SM: What’s a wash day like for you?

Shanay: So typically I give myself a nice coconut oil massage before washing. I let that sit for 30 minutes to an hour, then I wash with sulfate free shampoo or co-wash.

SM: Let’s talk about Youtube! First off your first video was everything! Loved the deep condition and I will be doing it again soon. Are you wanting to inspire and motivate to get more Black women to embrace their natural textures?

Shanay: Yes and I think my main motivation for Youtube is to inspire other people and in doing that inspire myself. Natural hair journey is no walk in the park so it’s easy to document where you are in your journey using your own videos.

SM: See that’s awesome! And lastly what is something you would say to someone on the fence about doing the big chop or transitioning over to their roots? Im going to tell them to subscribe to your Youtube channel today!

Shanay: I would just say to embrace your hair to the fullest and be proud of who you are! Your Black roots is something to be happy about.This is a new age and generation and you should be proud to be apart of the natural hair movement. And trust me nothing is better than feeling your scalp and knowing your hair is really growing and God is working on you!

SM: Great advice! So I just want to thank you for this interview girl and thank you so much for sharing your views! Congrats on the birth of your Youtube channel and and I hope it brings success and motivates the masses to love the hair and skin they are in!

Shanay: Thank you soul mommas for having me on this interview and this time to motivate and cultivate Black girl magic! Best wishes.

SM: Peace and soul.

 

I hope you all enjoyed the interview with this Queen and have been motivated in some way to keep going on your natural hair journey! Please check out the video below and subscribe to this channel. It’s something new and refreshing for ya!

Peace.

Stop asking millennials “When are you having children??”

Hey Mommas,

As you know from previous posts, I am a soul momma of two beautiful little girls and I am damn proud of it! I’ve always wanted children of my own and wondered what they would look like. Many older women would always tell me that having children means you can’t do this and you can’t do that. They would almost always mention that they were expensive, it hurts to have them and you HAVE to have a husband to pull it off. Really out of all honesty you never hear of any good coming out of having children.

For those reasons, I understand why many of the young women of my generation choose to have them later in life or not caring to have any at all. Even though much of that is false, hearing those things most of your life just makes the idea of children sound like something to be uninterested in.

Even though I’ve managed to create a very comfortable lifestyle for myself, I’m not sure if many other women my age can do the same which is why I totally understand when I hear young women say “I can wait” or “never mind.”

I used to get this question all the time while in undergrad and I hated it! I’m pretty sure my friends hate it too! And here are five reasons why you should stop asking millennials “when are you having children?”

  • Are you going to keep the child or children every time the parent goes on vacation? I don’t think you are either! Understand some people are enjoying their younger years to travel and enjoy themselves before they start settling down. I am in no way saying you can’t do the same with children, but there is more to think about when you do like whose keeping the child and how long you plan to be away.

 

  • Maybe the couple or person you are asking this question to simply does not want children. Everyone is not wanting to be parents. Children are an option not a necessity. When someone chooses to not have children at that time or any time, they don’t owe you an explanation for it.

 

  • Many young adults understand how screwed up the world is and aren’t trying to intentionally bring a child into it. This is totally understandable. Planning a family is one thing but planning one in these days ehhhh I could see how this could deter someone from becoming a parent.

 

  • Raising children can be a pretty pricey 18 year project. I am an exception to this because I am ridiculously frugal. I don’t expect the average American citizen to be as cheap as I am or know how to get around some of the cost. Many people are doing their best to be as financially prepared as possible before having children. You can’t rush the technique!

 

  • It’s a possibility that the woman or couple you are asking this question too are having fertility issues. Are the treatments on you? Shut ya ass up then!

 

The real reason I am saying to stop asking young adults this question is  because it’s not your business ok! lol! It’s also annoying as hell.  I hate to put it that way but there is so much more to ask people about like “where are you headed on your next trip” or” how are you liking your career?” I think it’s just kind of rude to push parenthood on people.

Personally I am happy I have gotten the babies out at the age I did because I’m energetic, patient and I’ll be in my early 40s when they become adults which would allow me to have my freedoms of my college days. Matter fact I still have an incredible sense of freedom so I’m ok with motherhood at this time however I would never push parenthood on people especially unprepared people.

Everyone’s lifetime achievements happen at different times and that’s for a reason. All in all, be mindful of the things you use to make conversation about. What you think may be cool to ask might be too personal for others. I think that question is something you can skip over. I’m not saying it can’t be asked I’m just saying it doesn’t need to be. Children are not on everyone’s to do list and that’s ok. Everyone’s goals in life are different and I think asking that question is like forcing your goals or reality on someone else’s life. You know that mess ain’t cool!lol Childbirth isn’t as simple as that question, think about it before asking it. Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Won’t You Just Get Birth Control?! STRONG LANGUAGE WARNING

Hey Mommas,

This post is probably going to catch some fire. That’s ok! You need to be aware.

This is not to shame women for using contraceptives at all. Read this with an open mind.

Here’s My True Story!

I have never in my life ever used any type of birth control pill, shot, implant, IUD, patch or anything else of that nature.  Although I was vaccinated as a child, I have always been healthy with no major medical problems. Started having cycles at 13 and they have always been regular and about 4days. It’s actually been great. I never really have any issues with it so when it comes I embrace it. I actually buy new feminine products to try out and see if I like them. To put it the best way I know how me and my period has always been besties.  Never any pain, any excessive bleeding and never does it ever get in the way of my day to day activities.

At the age of 23 I was pregnant for the 1st time (no prior pregnancies whatsoever) and here I am having an extremely healthy pregnancy and an awesome delivery. I remember requesting to tie my tubes then but my doctor replied with a cool calm “no maam”. I said ok stitch me perfectly ok because I’m still fairly new down there! HAHA blah!

Fast forward to my 3 week postpartum check up. 3 weeks because I was in so much pain I thought I may have pulled a stitch or something. Dr. checking me out and she’s like “looking good Jazz just do this, this and that for the next 3 weeks and things should be fine.” I’m like “ok cool.” *I was in pain for 2 3/4 months postpartum*

Follow me the best way you can right here.

In walks in the nurse and I couldn’t even get my leggings back on good before she hit me with the “we would like to offer you some birth control options” and I’m like “no thank you I’m good.” She goes “But Jasmine we want to make sure you are protected from anymore unwanted pregnancies.”

I’m like “NO THANK YOU IM OK!” *smiling like girl if you don’t move out my way with that bullshit*

 Persistent as fuck, she’s like “Jasmine” she’s pulling out a chart now that came out of nowhere..”here are some birth control options that are covered through your insurance” She then proceeds to recommend and arm implant.

AN ARM IMPLANT! Bitch is you kidding me AN ARM IMPLANT so yall trynna give me the MARK OF THE BEAST bitch please! hahaaaa! I reply with “At this time I’m not interested in the birth control options, I’ll just try my best to not have sex and allow my body to heal.

This nurse or whatever her title was, she wasn’t trying to hear it.

“Jasmine there’s always the pill.”

I reply “Maam I’m going to look up the birth control options, read reviews and I’ll call if I am interested. In this much pain I’m not having sex. Thank you though.”

Those words probably came out rough but what she didn’t know was I rather have children than to ever put my body and my life through the things caused by birth control. Pregnancy was too good to me not to choose it over birth control.

I’m going to start with my opinion then I’m going to bring the facts to you.

Birth control is nothing but experimentation on women and their reproductive organs.

Ok wait that’s an actual fact.

Let me try this again. Here are my thoughts.

bc

What I wasn’t about to do is subject my perfectly good health to the artificial hormones of birth control. It’s human nature to like sex, and I do but do I engage in it often? Nope. Not even. It’s not on my to do list but about once a season and just because it’s on the to do list doesn’t mean it actually gets scratched off ya feel me?  I figured with an almost non existent sex life, a perfect period and my clear skin that I worked so hard for it was no way in hell I would use birth control! Take pills everyday at the same time? Hell naw! Hell naw! I’m a busy individual I’m not packing pills nowhere, I’m not standing in the Pharmacy line every month, I don’t even like taking medicine when I’m sick!

http://www.lipstickalley.com/showthread.php/944194-The-Depo-Shot-Is-Transforming-Black-Women

Let’s talk about the shot. You know the chemicals that you inject in you that drastically change your mood, the way you bleed and your weight. And guess what, once it’s in you it’s in you and you cant get it out…takes months after to wear off?.bruh I just. ok. And you have to be crazy if you don’t think those shots aren’t race specific..I even watched a video of a girl say she bled very heavy 4 months straight! I cant even imagine.

IUD IUD IUD.. So you want me to put this painful insertion object in my precious yoni? And then I could be engaging in some sexual activity and this thing comes out? Ha no! so I’m again putting the artificial shit in my body and I’m still bout to get pregnant if it falls out uh no! Will this thing make a metal detector go off? Does it show up in Xrays? lol ok.

This arm implant.. man this has bout to be the scariest one of them all. You want to stick your object in my arm where I cant get it out..smh and all you got to do is reset the numbers and just like that I have a 666 tattoo on my forehead? I kid lol but foreal NO! JUST NO!

 

Out of all seriousness though. I reviewed all of the products. I really did. I looked up reviews of real women who used these products. There were frightening side effects with them all. I have friends who have endured through its craziness. That shot was the toughest of them all.. causing Cushing’s syndrome and a whole host of other things that take years to fix the imbalances.

Here are some of the side effects of birth control.

  • Mood changes and Depression ( now you have to take depression meds)
  • Weight Gain
  • Headaches and Migraines (then they want to make you take prescription headache meds)
  • Increase in vaginal discharge
  • Decrease in sex drive ( bruh the many women have this to have sex so what’s th..nevemind)
  • Naseaua
  • Irregular bleeding and spotting (this would piss me all the way off) (then how do you enjoy sex like this)
  • Yeast overgrowth and infections (man come on..more meds you gotta take for that! no sex here either)
  • Increased risk of cervical and breast cancers ( more meds)
  • Increased risk of heart attack and stroke (a  whole stroke bro?? noooooo)
  • Higher blood pressure
  • Gall bladder disease
  • Benign liver tumors (fuck outta here)
  • Decreased bone density
  • Increased risk of blood clotting
  • Infertility (does population control ring a bell)

They might as well put death in there but they don’t want to scare you all out of the experiment.

 

I do understand there are some women who take birth control for medical reasons and I understand that totally but ask yourself is this really worth all of this. If you are taking this for acne there’s another way. Please don’t subject yourself to this madness. And why in the hell would you fix one thing only to gain 10 additional health problems?

There are women who take birth control and have no period at all. Your body’s natural process is to expel your eggs that were not fertilized.. you ok with those dead eggs laying up in you? ok. They have to go somewhere.

To my women who absolutely do not want children. Use condoms or have your man get a vasectomy. If he love you and you only he will do it! Don’t you tie your tubes for no man! Knowing men, he’ll leave your ass talking bout he want kids and now you cant have them. Keep the option open doesn’t mean you have to have them. Trust me I totally get wanting to remain childless.

Image result for condoms

There is always abstinence but I’m not preaching that because we’re grown!

Ladies really though, there’s a reason women are more likely to get cancer and ultimately die from it. It’s because you are being subjected to bullshit like birth control meds something that here in 2017 they have not created for men??? It is not a coincidence. You deserve more than to be a guinea pig to pharmaceutical companies. Open your eyes up and really think about your overall health. I am not judging and I never will judge women for what they choose to do. I am a Pro-choice individual. I believe women should always have the right to choose what goes on with her body whether it be birth control abortion or anything. I am simply saying to boss up and put you first. You are not a lab rat, you are a human being.

For my ladies who one day would like to bear children take the best care of your body possible. I recommend no form of birth control meds because they can take away that gift of life from you. We are living in a time where human life is being devalued. Women are being used and once we stand up the game is over.

Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Absent, Court Ordered & Social Media Baby Daddies

Hey Mommas and Daddies,

THIS IS NOT A MAN BASHING BLOG POST! I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A MAN BASHING BLOG POST!

So for many single mothers there is the option to take on child support.

Ok for the people who aren’t parents and follow “The Shade Room” they think child support is the thousands of dollars Chris Brown pays Royalty’s mother monthly.

IT IS NOT SO.

Child Support is 20% of the non custodial parents income and rights for the noncustodial parent to “visit” their child.

Before I get into why I think the child support system is flawed I want to talk about the different reasons why I feel men are a large percentage of the reason for so many single mother households.

So it’s a known fact that over 70% of Black children are living in a home where the single mother is the sole provider. Too many times Black single mothers are blamed for the different problems that are within the Black community because of course someone has to be blamed! * rolls eyes* So mental illnesses, behavior, crime, drugs that’s all because of the single mother! So essentially what is being said is that a single mother can’t successfully raise productive citizens and Im calling bullshit!

Pay attention here.

So since it’s so incredibly easy to blame the parent who is there and is working tirelessly to provide the best life possible without the mental support and companionship that comes with a marriage, that woman gets met with comments like “should’ve kept your legs closed” and “get birth control” blah blah blah! Because she made her kids on her own. Yea ok.

*Blogging on the dangers of birth control coming soon*

Anyway so here’s the problem. The absent fathers and or court ordered daddies are not being held accountable and don’t catch half the slack a single mother does.

Court ordered daddy– Does no more than what the court orders for them to do in a child support agreement.

And let’s not even mention how single fathers are so graciously praised for their videos of them doing their daughter’s hair and having secret handshakes with them. We are not hating here but if a single mother makes a similar video with her and her children she’s going to get hit with the “you got miles” “struggling with your burdens” and “you’re bragging about doing what you’re supposed to do”  comments somewhere. While daddy up there gets those “awww this is so sweet” “what an awesome father” and “you’re doing such a great job.” See where I’m going with this. This leads me to the social media daddy.

Social media daddy– Fathers who do the bare minimum, who probably are court ordered daddies and gets on social media and does the absolute most! Showing out like they are the greatest father ever. When that’s probably all they did for the child in the last 2 weeks. Also uses his social media platform to shame or discredit his child’s mother for sympathy or likes. Example: My baby momma wont let me see the kids. Comments say- she’s a bitch or omg this is so sad… *rolls eyes again* because he and you both know he never came to see the kids!

Usually friends without children buy into this type of foolery!

Ok here’s why I feel like fathers are largely responsible for single motherhood in the Black community.

a. These fathers aren’t taught by their mothers or fathers (if he was present) to take responsibility for his actions when it comes to these things. Therefore he’s ignorant and doesn’t know he’s wrong here.

b. He isn’t a man. He simply can’t handle adulthood. Poor job, probably little to no education. (Absent daddy)

c. This guy didn’t want to be a parent. Doesn’t want to change his lifestyle so instead of stepping up to the plate, runs away from the plate and comes to plate when he feels like it.

d. Then there’s the court ordered social media daddy who pretends he’s the greatest dad ever using pictures and videos but does nothing of substance to provide out of spite for his child’s mother. He just wants to “visit” his child but does not want to help actually raise the child. The “in and out” daddy who swear up and down he’s trying but doesn’t really put forth the effort.

 

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Ok here’s why child support is poo.

Child support  gives the father the right to visit the child one day out of the week and 1st 3rd and 5th weekends here in Texas on standard visiting. Remember there is not always a 5th weekend.That’s enough days to visit the child I think. Not to help raise one. And with these rights, if the father does not show up there are no consequences so essentially the father is not obligated to show up to receive the child. Also holidays are shared between parents which really isn’t a big deal to many but this is the definition of bare minimum in my opinion. All this is justified because the other parent may pay his 20% of his income to support the child. Which in reality probably only pays for a week at daycare, a pair of shoes and socks. Leaving the single mother to take on the tasks of paying for everything else the child needs to survive. Believe it or not their are fathers who put themselves on child support just to buy an “in and out” relationship. It guarantees them visitation but they don’t actually visit regularly. Foolery I know!

I PRAISE REAL FATHERS! These are fathers who cant go 2 days without seeing their children. They help raise their children. Gets along with their child’s mother and communicates disagreements and goes out his way to create a family style environment even if there is no romantic relationship. These men take their children to appointments ask mom is there anything I can help with around the house, and does not have everybody in their business! I respect these kind. These are the ones where child support is not necessary because he’s a man and wants what’s best for his child’s lifestyle. This guy is not on social media showing out but is real life doing the damn thing called fatherhood! This is what I wish the Black community had more of. This is what I wish single Black women can talk about instead of “my baby daddy aint shit!”. These guys are rare but they exists! I personally know a few women who got blessed!

 

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Daddies, if you are experiencing a situation where you and the mother of your child can’t seem to come to an agreement, do what you would do if this was your girlfriend and sit down and talk about it. You are going to have to discuss things to get passed them. Treat this as if this were your job and talk the differences out in a calm and professional tone. It may be a little difficult but for the sake of the child the mother will more than likely listen to what you are trying to communicate when you make it known you want a better life for the child. Get whatever prior feelings you have about her out of your mind, man up and open your mouth about your concerns. You can’t call a woman an “aint shit baby momma” if you never tried to work out a positive relationship.

Mommas, if you are in a situation where you are dealing with a lot of negative comments and a father who is absent or a court ordered/social media daddy, there isn’t much you can do but request to talk about getting passed the situation and how you guys can become a team to better parent. Having being in this situation this may or may not work but as long as you remain in a positive headspace you can parent and parent damn good on your own. You didn’t ask to be a single parent but you can definitely make the best of that situation. Remember a big part of life is how you respond to what life throws your way. Peace.