Happy Mother’s Day Soul Mommas,
I am writing a few of my personal thoughts and reflections as a young mother (26) and how I manage to remain positive and free-spirited. I’m all over the place here but just stick with me! This is pretty personal for me to share so only positivity is accepted in this space.
If you have been following Soul Mommas for a while, you know I am a mother of two beautiful little girls who are now 1 and 2 years old. I have experienced the best of 2 under 2! I have not mastered motherhood and I don’t think I ever will. When I think I’ve mastered one thing, they age out of whatever it is I think I have mastered within a few weeks!! It is one of those go with the flow things in my opinion.
Motherhood Thus Far..
One of the most beautiful privileges of being a woman is carrying life. I don’t think I’ve experienced a better feeling in life than being pregnant, giving birth and watching a child that I helped create make boogers, snore, and cry! Motherhood comes with its challenges from time to time but never has this experience been a “hard” experience. The good times I have had as a mother surpassed all the great times when I wasn’t a mother. Although both pregnancies were unplanned, each child helped catapult my life in a major way. I think had I still been childless I would still be working in a grocery store and not using the Bachelor’s degree that I had already earned years ago. Everything has seemed to fall into place one by one as a result of me having my daughters at what I call the perfect time in my life.
The Darkest Hour
I am single, never married and I have two girls back to back! So of course I get hit with all kinds of judgment and questions. I would find myself getting defensive quite often. At one point it seemed like people I knew was disappointed in my decision to bring life into this world as if I needed permission to do so. Not only was I already dealing with postpartum depression, but I had the weight of the people I thought loved me judgments on my back. There were a few that I felt were understanding but for the most part I just felt alone. It was too much to handle to the point where I was feeling like giving up. What I mean is sending my children to be adopted, moving away, and starting over. I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone because everyone had made up in their minds that “I had fucked up pretty bad.”
Truth be told I was so excited to be a mother but I LET outside negative influences lead me to believe that I shouldn’t be. What’s really messed up is I almost let those negative people make life decisions for me that only I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I have A baby father who intentionally did everything in his power to be the biggest jackass he could be. Even when I was at the very edge of wanting to give up, he would insult me and put me down just for his own enjoyment. When I look back on how weak I was emotionally and didn’t have much of the support I needed, I don’t know how I made it through. It was such a dark time in my young life. I knew before I had children I wanted to be married and not raise my children alone. I was, in a way, disappointed in myself that life didn’t go exactly the way I planned things to go. I then started to realize that life goes on and I can either choose to accept that negative energy or move forward and show my daughters the best life of love, education, adventure and comfort! I feel like it is my duty to give them excellence!
Overcoming It All
I created Soul Mommas because I knew there were other women facing the same situation. I started to focus directly on my career and balancing every aspect in my life. Part of getting to the point I am now required me to sit aside time everyday to pray and meditate on what God’s will and purpose is for my life. I created a vision board and I also do weekly goals to make sure I’m progressing and not just sitting still and remaining comfortable. Journaling is one of the big reasons I don’t have to hold in so much and I use yoga as a way to relieve some of my life stresses. Unfortunately the baby daddy who is active, kind of, is still a jackass but I get to choose how I want to respond to it because of the fact that I am more mentally stable than I once was. I’ve learned to find things I really love and stick to that to make sure I maintain my happiness. I go to concerts frequently, I eat a whole lot better, I link up with my friends a few times a month and I workout as much as my schedule allows. With my children, we often take road trips, we do experiments, have game nights and story time. I like hands on things and travel as educational practices so that’s mainly what we do as a family. I mainly surround myself with positive people and I do things that I think will further enhance my own positivity.
I love my MOMMA SOOOO MUCH
As far as my own mother, we have our ups and downs all the time but she has been right by my side this entire roller coaster. I could never repay her for all the assistance, love and support she shows to my daughters and myself. I have been missing from blogging lately but that’s because I am working on something very special that I hope I can share my testimony about soon! I wouldn’t be able to make this happen without my mother.
Happy Mother’s Day to you!
No matter what your situation may be just know that it isn’t permanent but you have to take the necessary steps to create the best life for you and your child. To be a mother is a GIFT and you shouldn’t see it as anything else but the biggest BLESSING EVER! Happy Mother’s Day to you and I pray that everyone reading this right now find the peace, love and will power to keep pushing on! Remember that this is supposed to be rewarding to you not “hard.” Never let society tell you nurturing a child is “difficult.” You choose your way of parenting and all other opinions shouldn’t and don’t matter. Remain encouraged and always seek good things that make you happy! Stay active and give your children everything you have even when others look down on you to tell you it isn’t enough.
I love you all and enjoy your day celebrating the wonderful title of “MOTHER!”