Stop asking millennials “When are you having children??”

Hey Mommas,

As you know from previous posts, I am a soul momma of two beautiful little girls and I am damn proud of it! I’ve always wanted children of my own and wondered what they would look like. Many older women would always tell me that having children means you can’t do this and you can’t do that. They would almost always mention that they were expensive, it hurts to have them and you HAVE to have a husband to pull it off. Really out of all honesty you never hear of any good coming out of having children.

For those reasons, I understand why many of the young women of my generation choose to have them later in life or not caring to have any at all. Even though much of that is false, hearing those things most of your life just makes the idea of children sound like something to be uninterested in.

Even though I’ve managed to create a very comfortable lifestyle for myself, I’m not sure if many other women my age can do the same which is why I totally understand when I hear young women say “I can wait” or “never mind.”

I used to get this question all the time while in undergrad and I hated it! I’m pretty sure my friends hate it too! And here are five reasons why you should stop asking millennials “when are you having children?”

• Are you going to keep the child or children every time the parent goes on vacation? I don’t think you are either! Understand some people are enjoying their younger years to travel and enjoy themselves before they start settling down. I am in no way saying you can’t do the same with children, but there is more to think about when you do like whose keeping the child and how long you plan to be away.

 

• Maybe the couple or person you are asking this question to simply does not want children. Everyone is not wanting to be parents. Children are an option not a necessity. When someone chooses to not have children at that time or any time, they don’t owe you an explanation for it.

 

• Many young adults understand how screwed up the world is and aren’t trying to intentionally bring a child into it. This is totally understandable. Planning a family is one thing but planning one in these days ehhhh I could see how this could deter someone from becoming a parent.

 

• Raising children can be a pretty pricey 18 year project. I am an exception to this because I am ridiculously frugal. I don’t expect the average American citizen to be as cheap as I am or know how to get around some of the cost. Many people are doing their best to be as financially prepared as possible before having children. You can’t rush the technique!

 

• It’s a possibility that the woman or couple you are asking this question too are having fertility issues. Are the treatments on you? Shut ya ass up then!

 

The real reason I am saying to stop asking young adults this question is  because it’s not your business ok! lol! It’s also annoying as hell.  I hate to put it that way but there is so much more to ask people about like “where are you headed on your next trip” or” how are you liking your career?” I think it’s just kind of rude to push parenthood on people.

Personally I am happy I have gotten the babies out at the age I did because I’m energetic, patient and I’ll be in my early 40s when they become adults which would allow me to have my freedoms of my college days. Matter fact I still have an incredible sense of freedom so I’m ok with motherhood at this time however I would never push parenthood on people especially unprepared people.

Everyone’s lifetime achievements happen at different times and that’s for a reason. All in all, be mindful of the things you use to make conversation about. What you think may be cool to ask might be too personal for others. I think that question is something you can skip over. I’m not saying it can’t be asked I’m just saying it doesn’t need to be. Children are not on everyone’s to do list and that’s ok. Everyone’s goals in life are different and I think asking that question is like forcing your goals or reality on someone else’s life. You know that mess ain’t cool!lol Childbirth isn’t as simple as that question, think about it before asking it. Peace.